*pewds is a weeb song* just another day... ...just another million subscribers. let's check out how much money my last video made. "weird sonic fetish wallpaper" oh no, guys, this isn't a joke. dillon the hacker has kidnapped josh. he's making josh write whatever he wants for closed captioning! dillon: this is not a drill
dillon: that's right, it's me. dillon the hacker. and if you're watching this... "i can't click away!" *then my plan has suceeded* *and if you're watching this, i've officially hacked into a live poodiepie video* how is this possible? how the fuck did he hack me? *dillon takes off his mask* dillon the hacker: "hello, bro army." "today's the day you learn to respect big daddy dillon!" "the professional hacker!" *professional?*
never! i will never shed a speck of respect for you, dillon! not after what you did... *dillon's takes of his shirt* *thats right, i'm going shirtless for this one oh yeah? well two can play that game. *umm, pewds? we're on a tight schedule* *mother of god....* nothing gay about that... australian outback style!
dillon, the new king of youtube, has just hacked pewdiepie's latest video. dillon will never be king of youtube, actually. *glory?* *felix rubs his chest hair* and now that i've hacked a pewdiepie video i have just one thing to say. one thing to tell the entire world! (=white privileged kids) pewdiepie's channel now belongs to me now. swedish boy: no! no! legendary hacker: do you understand me bro army!? are you listening to me!? *felix apparently isn't*
never! you brought me into this! you made me a screaming child pretending to hack people and you! will! witness! *meeeeee* *jesus christ. umm... dillon sprays his face with spray paint* *dillon is screaming like a possessed orc* (no offense, orcs) what the f- did he just spray paint his fucking face?
*dillon breaks everything* this has been marvel's new project, it's just been leaked. a new hulk movie, just revealed exclusively on the pewdiepie channel. this is outrageous! *pewds gets in on it* how the fuck did he hack me? do you see this chair? do you? *chair gets flipped* why do you have to hack me? you knew hacking was my biggest weakness you know... how to play... this... game... this is only the beginning, bro army. because with my new hacking technique i will be able to insert myself into any pewdiepie video. from now on
you will never know. when or where i might show up. this is only the beginning, bro army. it's only the beginning. (yeah, you said that like thrice already. i'm not being paid well enough for this shit.) oh my god... a new hacking technique, a new technique has been uncovered. well... you're not the only one that has a trick or two up his sleeve. *felix said to a half-naked guy* i know the ultimate hacking group of all time.
and he follows me on twitter. *death note music* of course! it looks like it's time... *blows fingers* teehee... *puts on glasses* *fire hat equipped* to hack back. it's working.
dillon is getting more angry by the second. oh god, it's dangerous.. if this continues, i could die *throws banana like the piece of shit it is* i'm hacking so f*cking hard right now. *most erotic moan 2016 nominated for best moan of the century* the vape god is on my side! alright, bros, it looks like i'm in. where the fuck am i? matthew mcconaughey, is that you? are you crying like a little bitch?
matthew, i don't want your subs. don't worry. now help me. help me find the other side. that's it, matthew. *kiss* i'll come back for you tonight. alright, i'm trying hacking again. this time, it should work. top of the morning to ya, laddies! my name is jacksepticeye what? i hacked the wrong channel again! god damn it! why does this very feel similar to the pewdiepie channel, but still not really? *guy in video* reminds me of pewdiepie or something... is it working? did it work? yes! oh thank god we're back! ugh! dillon the hacker, you may look sexy as fuck, but you got nothing on these. *felix shows his gigantic muscular cloth-covered sticks* why don't we take this next battle into "i. r. l."
'cause it's about to fuckin-.. it's about to slam it out, we're gonna slam it out. *happily ever after* fuck yeah! i beat you! you loser! you piece of- *sudden silence* *looking at amount of subs* zero? nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! wooooooooo weah haff wae daaaaaae wooooooooooooo liiiiiivin own a praya taek mah hayund we'll maek it ah swayyya